Colorful Kangaroo Farm
by The Girl In The Hourglass
Summary: A group of Skype buddies meet twenty years in the- OMFG WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY DOING!
1. Chapter 1

Colorful Kangaroo Farm

Chapter 1

A tall, slender figure sat at a kitchen table, a halo of flourescent light falling onto her black hair. She gazed at an old adoption certification sadly, eyes closing halfway. Suddenly, she gazes up at a soft pressure on her shoulder. A warm hand, and familiar brown eyes, sparkling playfully, then dulling as he noted the yellowing paper.

"Rah, you must not beat yourself up over it anymore.", he said softly. She sighed, nodding, and standing. She walked over to her ancient laptop, reminiscent of the old days, switching it on, watching as it ever so slowly loaded that faggoty Windows 8 shit. She opened the little Skype icon, and as it opened, she noted the missed notifications from the group, affectionately named, today, "WHERE THE FUCK DID FINNY AND SIRUS GET THOSE PICTURES?!"

**Rah: What the fuck did you assholes do while I was gone?**

**Count Latenyan: Sirus started it! I did nothing!**

**Devil's Bunny giggles**

**Devil's: Something mixed up in a file send and they got FABULOUS porn instead! But no one knows where it came from!**

**Sirus: I don't even know what the fuck that is!**

Rah cracked a smile, despite the long-term hurt she felt.

**Rah: Fuck that, Sirus and Finny are just pervy assholes.**

**Devil's: OMFG I just dieeeed laughing!**

**The Doctor: I log in to the weirdest stuff...**

**Devil's: DOCTOOOOOOR!**

**Devil's Bunny cuddles Doctor, giggling**

**Count Latenyan: Me? What did I do?**

**Devil's: Shush, Any, you're in denial!**

**Devil's Bunny pokes Finny viciously**

**Doctor: ...I'm leaving now. Bye.**

**Devil's: Oh, me too! My girlfriend is here ;)**

**Sirus: ;)**

**Count Latenyan sits in his corner, pouting**

**Rah: Me and Hazzy are going to a gig today, I'm going to go get ready.**

She logged off, smiling fully now, then headed upstairs to get dressed.

* * *

Ashlyn glared at her computer screen hatefully.

"FUCK YOU FINNY! STOP SKIPPING MEEEEE!", she yelled. His mocking chuckles filtered through her headset and she resisted the urge to snap them in half. "Fuck you..." Switching to her girly, giggly voice, she suddenly giggled. "Finnyyyy! I wanna poke your caaaaat!"

"No! My cat and my coat!"

"NO! I WILL TAKE YOUR FUCKING CAT!", she yelled, winning their game. "HA!"

"Fuck you...", he whined. She checked the time.

"Oh shit! I gotta go! Byyyyyeeee, Finny!" She hung up, jumped up, and grabbed her iPod 10, putting headphones in her ears as she left the small apartment, making plans to go to her first job. A siren whirled past, and in the car, a tall, black, video-game obsessed man speeding through the intersection.

* * *

"Calvyyyyy, what do you waaaaant?" The voice in his ear whined like Rah.

"I want to hang up 'cause my phone is lagging like a bitch and I'm on duty."

"Fiiiine... You're so boring..." There was a click as he disconnected, and Calvin focused on the road, skidding straight past a chick who looked like... HOLY FUCKING SHIT, WAS THAT BUNNY?!

_**Devil's Bunny FABULOUS hugs Blackie**_

_**Devil's: Blaaaaackie!**_

Daaaaamn, years of logging in to that. He laughed. No way. Bunny was in Africa, planning her dream polygamous wedding. And, from her IMs, it was gonna be 'FAAAAABULOUS'. However, he had already had his wedding, and didn't intend to get himself involved in another one. He had been married for a year, and she was the love of his life, his little butch girl. She had dirty blonde hair and the prettiest wide brown eyes. He smiled, then got out of the car, arming his gun. He was on stakeout. This place was the target of a well-known all girl gang. He grinned. It was on.

* * *

Lexie sat at her carved mahogany computer desk, nails tapping against the wood. She carefully watched the moniter, eyes trailing.

"We've got the fuzz on the west side, one of you bitches take 'im out."

"On it." She watched as one of her smaller girls dropped out of a tree, smacking him in the skull with her elbow. He dropped, and she gathered him up, stealthily dragging him out of sight.

"ID?", she questioned.

"Calvin something?", she asked.

"Oh shit, for real?", Lexie questioned.

"Yeah."

"Damn. Let him go on the outskirts. Proceed with the robbery."

They followed her orders. She watched as the scene continued to play out.

* * *

Finny sat back in his chair, a smug grin on his face as he watched three of his girls in a writhing, moaning mess on the floor. He laughed, balancing his laptop on his hard-on, the warmth from the filter making it even more unbearably hot as he typed fluff after fluff after fluff. Finally he lifted his laptop, streaming out thick ropes of jizz over the three sluts. He grinned, dismissing them, publishing his fanfiction, then getting up, striding into his gigolo room.

* * *

"Mamaaaaa!" John's annoying voice filtered over the field. Sirus's eye twitched as he glared toward the house. He pulled out his phone, logging into a simple, clean si- MOTHER OF GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT NASTY SHIT?! He stared, in awe, then checks the site traffic. 500,000 people. Not bad, but he could do better. MUCH better.


	2. Chapter 2

Colorful Kangaroo Farm

Chapter 2

Sirus scrolled over the newest set of pictures. Good. Bad. Daaaayum-worthy. Hot. Sexy. Who the fuck was that, she was so fucking bangable! Then there was Faye. His beautiful, glorious dominatrix Faye. He caressed the computer screen, a huge grin on his face. 50 million trafficking. Better. Then his phone buzzed and automatically shifted over to Skype.

"What the hell?", he questioned, opening the IM from Late that had a persistent symbol next to it.

Count: I have your pictures, Sirus.

Sirus: Thank you. Send them to me quick, before Faye gets home.

Count: Sure.

The images transfered smoothly and he stared at them in awe.

Sirus: Where the hell do you get these Late?

Count: These ones are from the second house. I spent the weekend there.

Sirus: Wherever you got them from, these are fucking awesome.

He quickly logged out so he could upload them to the site.

* * *

"Finnyyyyyyyyyyyyy!", Ashlyn whined, tapping her screen impatently.

"Bunneeeeeeh.", he echoed.

"I want some pictures of your fucking caaaaaaaaaat!"

"Enough of that. Fine." She waited as he sent the jpgs. She scrolled them, beaming, poking her screen.

"Someday I will pet iiiiiit!", she proclaimed, fist-pumping the air. He chuckled in his accenty Finnyish way and she pouted at the screen for a minute, then went back to looking through the- WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?! She stared at one picture. Some blonde bimbo slut was lying spread-eagle on a bed with her hands in her pussy! Her eyes widened. What the fuuuuuuuuck?

"FINNY! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SEND MEEEEEE?", she squealed, tapping on her keyboard furiously.

"What?", he asked. She heard the familiar sound of his OBNOXIOUSLY loud keyboard.

"You sent me fucking porn!", she yelled. Hanging up, she stared at the picture, then image searched it on google.

"Angel Delmonte... 19... Just recently vanished out of the public eye, but spotted last week in Finland... Most famous for her role in the Young and the Formerly Fuckless... Hmmm... Well, Finny. We have a lot to talk about." She saved the picture and a document with her information on it to her thumb drive, then immediately hid the thumb drive somewhere safe. She went back to the main group.

Devil's: Hey guuuuys, remember when we all were talking about the big meet-up?

Lexie: Yeah, why?

Devil's: I think we should have it.

Rah: Fuck you guys.

Anarchy (CountLatenyan) Fuzzy huggles ze Doctah

Doctor: That'd be cool, I'm in.

Devil's: And it should be at Finny's house.

Anarchy (CountLatenyan) Fuzzy pouts in his corner

Anarchy: Why me?

Devil's: Because you have enough room!

Rah: Yeah we should have it in Finny's house.

Queen: I'd go.

Lexie: I'll tell Gloria.

Faye: Me and Sirus'll go.

Devil's: And you need to have alcohooooooooool!

Anarchy: Pff, heck no.

Devil's Bunny pouts

Devil's: You proooooomiiiiiiised!

Anarchy: Pff

Doctor: I want to go.

Blackie: Yeah, we should go.

Devil's: AND WE CAN PLAY REAL LIFE MAFIA!

Cute: Yeah :)

Devil's: Whoo!

Anarchy: Fine, fine, jeez.

Devil's: WHOO! YES!

Devil's Bunny dances around FABULOUSLY

Blackie: ...

Devil's: Oh! I gotta go! Baaaaaai!

Devil's Bunny beams, logging off

Ashlyn collected herself from the remnants of her hyperness, then stood up, walking out the door.

* * *

Calvin woke up in a sleazy hotel room. He sat up, rubbing his head, then looked around. Cringing, he sat up, then heard a loud crunch. He jumped, immediately moving for his gun. He drew it and aimed, looking around, then noticed his phone in a crunched heap near his foot. He picked up.

"Oh..." He left the motel, nursing a headache, tossing the broken, disposable phone in the trash. It was a collectible from 2001, so it wasn't a big deal. He left the sleazy area.

* * *

Faye smiled as she cut up the slices of pizza on her youngest's plate. She nuzzled her for a minute, then went around, checking for everyone. Sirus walked in and she kissed his cheek.

"Ryan, Late messaged me, looking for you."

"I know, I already talked to him." He kissed her on the lips and sat down.


	3. Chapter 3

Colorful Kangaroo Farm

Chapter 3

Pucca smacked her ruler against a kid's desk, then laughed. She felt eyes on the back of her head and the hair on the back of her neck stood up. The kid who's desk she'd swatted looked up from his book.

"Justin, as much as you love girly manga, can we save that for another time."

"Wait- what?! I was reading Soul Eater!", the blushing boy protested.

"Mmmmhm." She winked, setting them up with a lab.

"Don't forget to put on your safety goggles!" She got on her computer, loading up some old chapters of Homestuck. She laughed. They were so childish compared to the new chapters, with good drawings and awesome sound affects. She spun in her chair giggling, right as the principal walked in. There was a loooong pause.

"Um... Explaining the forces of velocity and the Law of Energy?"

"Hmmm..." The principal stared at them for a minute, then left the room, shaking her head and muttering about incompetent newbies. Pucca giggled, humming a few bars of 'Out Tonight'. Opening her flickering Skype icon, she smiled.

Joanne: OMFG MAUREEEEN!

Pucca: what's up?

Joanne: There's gonna be a party/meetup at Finny's house in Finland!

Pucca: what? really?

Joanne huggles Maureen

Joanne: YES! I'M SO EXCITED! I FINALLY GET TO MEET YOU GUYS! YOU'RE COMING RIGHT?!

Pucca: Uh, maybe, when?

Joanne: Um... idk... I'll go check!

Pucca waited a few minutes, then got a message.

Joanne: December 9! Be there! Pleeeease!

Pucca: Well... I have a week of vacation... So, why not? Sure!

Joanne: YES! *heart heart heart*

Joanne loves Maureen (nh)

Maureen loves Joanne back (nh)

* * *

Ashlyn wandered the scene at a big bank in New York, and no, she didn't give a fuck what it was called. It had been hit by an elaborate gang, who had left only one clue: a blue business card with a gold picture of a butt on it, with gold script in it: 'The Women You Love'. She stared at the card, scrunching her face up cutely. Where had she seen this before... Oh my god! Noooo! No way!

(23:47) TheWomanYouLove says: Butts

Lexie?! OMFG was this Lexie?! FOR REAL?! She squealed, bouncing on the balls of her heels for a minute, then stopped at the condescending looks from the officers on duty. She blushed, averting her gaze, embarrassed. She nodded, taking a few more cursory looks, half-listening to the sheriff, then looking over at an ice cream stand longingly. When she was finally able to run away, she immediately went over to get some Moose Tracks, her favorite! She giggled and sat down at a small table. Her phones buzzed with a text and she checked it. She beamed, then stood and made her way to the plane station. She was due for Finny's a little early, to visit her first campus. She was excited. She hadn't been to Tampere in a few months, and she did wanna brush up on her evaluation skills a little. She was taking her work with her though. If Finny had a link to these girls, and it wasn't just a mix-up, she was curious as to what exactly the link was. And what was up with this thing about the card that had Lexie's name and a butt on it? And that bank robbery continued to trouble her. It was odd that no one had stopped it. According to the case files, a police officer had been dispatched to take standby. Either he hadn't shown up or he'd been taken out with the rest of them. Either way you spun it, it was a problem. She opened the file again. Maybe she could ask around at the station, if she could just remember the name! Okay, there was the official standby notice... Calvin Baker. Wait a minute... Wasn't that Blackie's name? She jumped up, eyes wide, as she ran across town to catch her flight. On her way there, she ran right into somebody.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry!", she apologized, stumbling. To her surprise, she had run right into Calvin, but evidently he didn't recognize her.

"No, it's okay, I should've been paying attention." He smiled and she figured, maybe a little digging.

"Do you know where the subway is?", she asked, souding totally lost. "I was supposed to meet someone there, but I couldn't figure out how to get into it at all!"

"Well, ma'am, I'm going into the subway myself, getting off at the Empire State building exit."

"Well, that's where we were supposed to go! Maybe he arrived before me after getting tired of waiting!" Here, she made her eyes go watery. "I think he was gonna propose! We've been together for five years and I've never been this late! I was supposed to be there an hour ago! But I need to go check if he's there, and my cell phone is dead!" She stammered this out and he put his hand on her shoulder.

"Calm down. I'll escort you there."

"Oh thank you soooo much Officer!", she beamed, her watery eyes maintaining a desperate look. He lead her down into the subway. She purchased a newspaper. Oh, just her luck! It was the newest edition, and the bank robbery was front page news.

"Oh my, did you hear about this, I mean, your department would've covered it, right?"

"Covered what?" He seemed kinda distracted.

"This bank robbery!", she said, sounding mega surprised. He looked over at the paper, his dark skin paling.

"That robbery went through?", he asked, incredulously.

"Oh yeah! They made off with a lot too! Including the money I was saving for my little girl's college tuition!" Here, she started full-on sobbing. As a man, Blackie was ill-prepared for this onslaught, and as an officer of the law, she was majorly ashamed of himself. Ashlyn took careful note of the panicked expression on her face. Standing, suddenly as the train stopped, she smiled and thanked Calvin, then exited.

* * *

"Joviiiiiiii...", Harasen pouted at her husband's heavily headphoned ears. He lifted one side off and turned to look at her.

"Yeah?", he asked, crunching on a Cheeto from a nearby bag. He smiled at the memory of Lexie freaking out that day he had Cheetos.

"Are you sure we should go to that meetup thing?"

"Yeah."

"But what if I get bored?", she asked.

"You can trust me Rah.", he said, wrapping his arm around her waist. She kissed him on the cheek and went upstairs. Taking her dose of anti-depressants, she curled up in a pair of soft pajamas. Hugging her pillow tight, she fell asleep, her beautiful hair smooth on her silk pillows.

_"Come oooon, Hara." Carl's body, white, and puffy from being waterlogged, smiled a toothy grin at her. "You always did say you wanted to visit me!" He grabbed at her ankle and she scrambled for purchase on the rock, the only one, for as far as she could see. The rest of her vision contained water. Only water. His grip strengthened, and she kicked at him, fighting tooth and nail, and then her Jovi appeared._

_"Rah! Take my hand! You can trust me!", he said soothingly. He reached for her, but her hand slipped._

_"Mommy!" A toddler-sized girl appeared beside her, who had Carl's blonde hair. She screamed, her body falling into Carl's arms as she sunk with him into the cold, icy abyss of the Atlantic ocean._

"NO!", she screamed, jerking awake. Her breath came in gasps, and she was drenched in cold sweat. Her blankets lay tangled at her feet. Jovanni was at the door in a second, lying down beside her and pulling her into his warm embrace. She nuzzled up to him, trying to catch her breath. Jovi started singing his favorite Evanescence song to her, and she fell asleep again, to softer, nicer dreams of ducks, waddle waddle.

* * *

Lexie scrolled down her screen, fully occupied by pictures of butts on Tumblr. That is, until someone knocked on her door.

"Hello?", she asked. The door burst open and in strode her sister Gabby, in a pink tiara replica that had 'PewDiePie' scrawled on the side in messy handwriting. She has a PewDiePie shirt on, and a pair of jeans.

"Lexie! I need your computer! Get off!"

"Bitch, hold the fuck up. You do NOT walk into my house, demand my computer, and tell me what the fuck to do!" She stood, glaring at her sister.

"My internet turned off and Pewds is doing a livestream with Cry tonight."

"Fuck no. Get out. I will kick you in your twat."

"You're such a cunt!", Gabby yelled, running for the computer. She attempted to shove Lexie out of her way, but Lexie kicked her legs out from under her and jumped on her back, digging her French manicure into her sister's hair. Gabby flailed, digging her less-cute, stubby nails into Lexie's leg. Lexie yanked, ripping some out, eliciting a howl of pain from the younger girl. She took the tiara off her head and snapped it in half, right on the signature, and threw it across the room, then stood, landing a high-heeled kick right in Gabby's vagina. She kicked her shoes off, pulling Gabby up and bitchslapping her so hard her whole body vibrated and landed on the ground.

"Get out.", she said. Gabby burst out crying.

"I'M TELLING MOM!",she shrieked, running out of the room. Lexie put on some older Rhianna and laid back in her chair with a groan, before ordering one of her girls to take her shoes to be cleaned.


	4. Chapter 4

Colorful Kangaroo Farm

Chapter 4

Ashlyn huffed. She'd just BARELY been able to make her trip in time, but she supposed it wasn't all bad, since she got a bit of information from Calvin, but really! And the airplane seats really were comfy... She smiled, relaxing into her chair. She put on her headphones and plugged them into the radios built into the armrest. Adjusting the station to a new adaptation, 34.0, a station made for particularly dubstep and electronica and house music. She giggled. Wubby planes.

* * *

Drauken signed a copy of the latest most fought over law, one that required the controlled substance law age for weed to be lowered to 18. Then he looked over at his prominent bodyguard.

"You know what to do.", he said. The guard nodded, moving to the outside of the door. Drauken hit a button on the desk that opened a secret elevator. He entered, closed it, and made a speedy trip to the bottom. His top scientist hurried over to him.

"Mr. President! You're early!", he began nervously.

"Yes. I will be leaving in a week's time for those secret negotiations in Finland.", he lied, quickly and with ease.

"The first clones will only be temporary. Only enough to last for a week and a half, and that's at the most, WITH nightly repairs and refueling!" The scientist said, strongly implying that this was a stupid idea.

"Should be long enough. Might wanna pick up the pace or else I'll lower your paycheck." Drauken examined the clone, then went back up to running the country.

* * *

Iina and her girlfriend Jess walked through Linenmaki.

"I'm so excited!", Iina suddenly exclaimed, for the gazillionth time that day. Jess laughed, squeezing her hand.

"I know, you've been going on about it all day!" The two's hands swung between them gently, and then Jess sat Iina down at a bench near a food stand. Then she knelt down. Iina's eyes widened and her heart started racing. Was she really gonna... But no. Jess was tying her shoe. Sighing in disappointment, Iina reached out a hand to help her up, only for Jess to look up, eyes sparkling mischievously, and pull out a ring.

"Iina, we've been together for four years, and I love you, I love you so much I want you to be my wife, and I... Well... Will you marry me?"

"YES!", Iina yelled excitedly, pulling Jess up and crushing her into a hug. They stood in a solid, warm embrace for what seemed like forever to the two of them, then Jess tipped Iina's chin, kissing her gently, and wrapping her arms around her waist, pressing her closer.

* * *

Markku paused, scrolling down for the last few Skype messages, then stood up, turning to face the brunette woman beside him. She was looking out the window, an Egyptian cotton sheet wrapped around her, and a glittery tiara in her hand.

"You know, Louisa, I think that... I think we aren't working out." She looked up at him, startled.

"What?" Her British accent made him smile for a minute.

"Pffffffff. You think I want to marry a princess?" She stared at him.

"Wha- But Marky! I just emailed home about us! I thought- I thought you loved me!" Her wide brown eyes watered as she turned to face him.

"Jesus fucking Christ stop calling me Marky! And I told you already I loved another. I just have to get to her."

"Oh you'll get to her alright! You and your stupid fucking cat!" Kifu, who sat up, hissed at the woman.

"Don't you DARE say a word against my cat!", Markku yelled. "Get out! It's not hard to kickban you, you know?!" Then he froze. Kickban? What the fuck? His Skype was interfering with his vocabulary now dammit! She glared at him and stormed out of the house. He could tell already this was gonna be a nasty affair. He closed his eyes, a headache looming. Kifu leaped onto his lap. Momentarily surprised, he noted the wounded pride in her eyes and reached up to pet her. He was glad Drauken had sent him that present. It was specially made, how he didn't know, but made it so his cat could live as long as he and be no worse for wear. She purred, curling into his ball. He absent-mindedly stroked her, his eyelids feeling rather heavy...

"Hello?" There was a slight knock on the door and he jolted up. Kifu hissed and leaped off him, affronted.

"Hello?", he asked, confused. The door opened and in walked Ashlyn, all purple and black hair, tights, tulle, and Converse.

"Haiiiii!", she beamed. "Your cleaning lady invited me in and showed me to my room, so I figured since I'm all arranged I'd come find you!" She held out two cans, one green and black, and one red and black. "These are two of the special store I brought. No offense, but I don't trust any caffiene I can't read the label on." She plunked the green one on his desk and curled up in the chair across from him. He stared at her.

"Do you have a habit of making yourself at home?"

"Of course I do silly!", she beamed, revealing two sharp little teeth.

"What the fuck are those?"

"Those what?" She looked down at her black-painted nails, then bit her lip. Her eyes widened. "Oh! Oh the fangs! They're fake, of course. I was entertaining the kids on my plane. The one missed her cat, so I put on those and my ears. She was soooo happy and it was so nice!"

"You have ears?", he asked, picking up the can. It had a green M on it. "And what is this?"

"Not telling 'till you try it.", she pouted, then stood up. "It was nice to get to see you before I go out."

"Out?"

"Yeah! Remember, I told you, I'm going back to visit Tampere! I have an old professor I'd like to visit!" He got up, dressed in a pair of black sweats and a t-shirt (sp?).

"You just got here. And it's midnight."

"Oh my god, it is? It still feels like... like... It feels like six o'clock still!" She broke off, then cut back in. "Oh god, I'm sorry, when I'm all excited I say 'like' a lot. But anyhow, if I'm not going to Tampere just yet, I'm gonna jump in the shower. I love kids, but their hands are sooooo sticky and they were all up in my hair." She grimaced, then brightened, throwing her arms around him for a tight hug, then running out of the office, giggling. He heard a loud thump near the stairs, more laughter, then nothing until the running water started. He was stunned. Fifteen people in his house? He was in waaaaay over his head. He groaned and facedesked.

* * *

"Calvin! Oh my god I was worried sick!" As soon as he walked through the door, a short ball of energy smashed right into him. He smiled reassuringly at his wife, holding her close.

"Salsa! I'm sorry, I don't know what happened! I was on the job then I wok up in a seedy little motel!"

"Oh my god, you're bleeding! Calviiiiiiiin!", she whined, pushing him into a chair, dashing into the kitchen, then coming back in with a wet washcloth. She wiped away the dried blood from his face, revealing a gash on the side of his face. He stopped her.

"It's fine.", he said, sliding her onto his lap. He shaggy hair shook in her brown eyes and the long-sleeved shirt she'd bought from Buckle made him smile. "Got all dressed up for me?" She blushed crimson and he pulled her in for a kiss.

"Maybe.", she giggled.

"That's sooo sweet. But I have to tell you something." She looked up at him from where she'd been kissing his neck.

"Yeah?"

"We're going on a trip this weekend!", he smiled. She perked up.

"Where?"

"To Finland. I'm meeting up with a bunch of friends, but I don't wanna leave you here."

"Oh cool. Now. More importantly..." She grinned, standing and grabbing his hand, all but dragging him upstairs.

* * *

_I want to reconcile the undisclosed desires in your heart..._ Kristi sat up, her bedhair sticking out in all directions. She grumbled, searching for her phone in the darkness. Finally able to snap it open (yes, she used a hipster flip phone, shut the fuck up) she checked it.

"Hello?", she mumbled, opening it.

"Hai Kristi!" Oh god. She could NOT handle Ashlyn's crazy this late at night.

"Ashlyn... Do you know what time it is?", she asked darkly.

"Well, I know that it's about eight a.m here, so... Um..."

"That means it's like, two here."

"Oh! Oh sorry! I was just calling to tell you how absolutely FABULOUS Finny's house is!", she giggled. Kristi groaned, and snapped the phone shut, tossing it into her basket of knitting.

"Why was DK calling so late?", a deep, rumbly voice asked from under the blankets beside her. She poked the blankets.

"Something about Finny's house.", she replied, cuddling down into her bed again. "I don't care until we go.", she grumbled, falling asleep.

* * *

Jovanni snuggled close to his Hara, kissing her sleeping forehead. He smiled excitedly. He had a feeling this trip would do a world of good for her, despite not knowing why. It just seemed like the beginning of something that would change their world. All thirteen of their worlds. Not just his and Rah's.


	5. Chapter 5

Colorful Kangaroo Farm

Chapter 5

On Monday, December 3rd, the day after Ashlyn arrived in Finland, Lexie hosted a group call.

"Sup bitches?"

"Ohai Lexie!", Ashlyn giggled, sitting up in the bed she was borrowing.

"Hi babe."

"Mornin'."

"Hai Drauken!" There was a general clamoring as the people available, Hazzy, Ashlyn, Lexie, and Drauken got around to the call. Some of the new people, like Alex and Max joined too.

"Where's Finny? That butt.", Lexie said.

"Um, I don't know, last I saw he was in his office, but I can go check!"

"Go check? DK, where are you?"

"Oh! Didn't I tell you? I went to Finny's a week early so I can give a guest lecture to some students from Tampere, where I went to university, remember?"

"Nope, you never said that.", Alex piped up.

"Aleeeeeex, stahp, I know I at least told you! Remember, 'cause I said I was excited and had never been on a plane before!"

"You didn't tell me.", Max said. There's a ton of clattering of keys, then Ashlyn giggled.

"It's soooo pretty over here! All the snow!"

"So DK, what do you want for your birthday, babe?"

"I don't know. You guys don't have to get me anything, you know. Plane tickets are expensive and you guys are so awesome I'm just glad to be able to see all of- Oh shit. My eyes are all watery.", she mumbled, rubbing her eyes. Alex snickered.

"Triple, shut the fuck up.", she grumbled, curling her legs up beneath her and pulling the blanket up over herself. Suddenly, a picture of Kifu joined the call.

"Ohai Finny!"

"Hi Finny."

"Mornin'."

"Hi. Ashlyn, breakfast is ready, if you don't like it, the kitchen's open."

"I can't tell if that's a sexist joke or not... But I am hungry! Be right back!" Her voice vanished.

"She's so hyper.", Finny grumbled. "I swear she talks a mile a minute and half the time it's nonsense."

"It's cute.", Triple laughed.

"Hmph."

* * *

Markku clicked off the call and started to eat. A couple minutes later, Ashlyn thunked down into the seat across from him with her own plate.

"I have no idea what you're eating but it looks good, so I'm gonna-" She caught sight of the can, unopened on his desk. "Finnyyyyyyy! That's so wasteful!" She picked up the cap, popped the tab, and chugged it, eyes closing, giving a sound of bliss. Finny laughed and she opened her eyes and shot him a look. "What?"

"Nothing.", he laughed. "It just looks like you're experiencing orgasm in a can." She huffed, getting on her knees on her chair and leaning across the desk, poking his belly.

"You're a dick.", she said, standing. "So are you gonna show me around?"

"What?"

"Are you gonna show me around? You know, like, your house? I got here last night you know."

"I can tell.", he said, gesturing to her pajamas.

"It's better than what I normally wear to sleep.", she pouted, then grabbed his hand and pulled him away from his computer.

"C'mon!"

* * *

Lexie laughed, having heard all of this from Ashlyn's unmuted mic.

"I can already tell she's gonna give him a hard time." More pictures floated up to join the call, but she got a text with her custom 'The Woman You Love' ringtone.

"Hold on babes.", she said, muting her mic and answering.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Love, so um, remember that cop, that Calvin one?"

"Yeah, what about him?", she asked cautiously.

"We caught him in contact with a private investigator. Visiting. Not from this area. She boarded a plane to Finland last night."

"I'll be heading to Finland on Saturday. Maybe I'll run into her. Got a picture?"

"Yeah but... She's not exactly what you'd expect, you know, for a PI?"

"Why not?"

"She's weird. Here, I'll text you." Lexie pulled her phone from her ear and studied the picture. It was a terrible, overview/diagonal shot, but it was good enough for a view of hair. She frowned. It looked familiar, but she couldn't place it. "Also, are we still on for the small hit on Thursday? Butterfly was curious."

"No. But it doesn't matter. Butterfly's too young and inexperienced for the job."

"She's so excited th-"

"No. She's too young. And I can't have a baby on my jobs."

"I guess not. You're right, Love, sorry." The line disconnected. Lexie frowned, and hung up the call, disconnecting everyone.

* * *

**Sirus: **Late, why haven't you sent me anything new yet?

**Count: **How would I? Ashlyn arrived a week early with no warning!

**Sirus: **Is she having fun?

**Count: **I don't fucking know, she made me give her a tour of my house. I just barely managed to evacuate them all.

**Sirus: **Late, people are going to lose interest if they don't get anything new! I want the kind of porn people look up to! The quality people can take dear old granny into their room, point to, and say, 'That's how I spend my nights!' The kind where young and old, rich and poor, clean-freaks and slobs can all UNITE under one common front, one need to see a ball-gagged woman! This is the future! PORN IS THE FUTURE!

**Count: **O.o

**Sirus: **Get me some new stuff.

**Count: **I'll try, but I can't promise you anything.

* * *

"Calvyyyyyyyy, do you think I should take more jeans or shorts?"

"It's December in Finland. Jeans."

"Kay, thank you!" Salsa finished packing. She liked to pack early. Too much of a hassle to procrastinate. "Did you buy our tickets?"

"Yeah. Just this morning. We'll be in the logs to be able to go."

"Good." She smiled.

* * *

"Jess, do you wanna go on a trip with me on Saturday? It lasts through Monday."

"Where would we be going?" Jess kissed the tops of Iina's feet, then up her leg, until reaching her knee, where she looked up, smiling contently.

"To visit an old friend of mine, named Markku."

"Sounds good to me, as long as I can be with you.", Jess blushed, whispering the words against Iina's skin. Iina pulled her up and climbed into her lap, kissing her neck. Jess blushed, wrapping her arms around the shorter girl.

"I love you...", she mumbled.

"I love you more.", Iina replied.

"I loved you first."

"Truly?"

"Madly."

"Deeply?"

"As deep as all of the oceans, combined.", Jess whispered. Iina smiled, grabbing Jess's hand and leading her upstairs.

* * *

"Joviiiiiiii!", Hara called. Jovanni smiled, a plate of eggs and toast in his hand. He set it in a tray, with a glass of orange juice, then arranged the small bouquet in the vase.

"I'm here.", he said, going upstairs and knocking on the door. Rah gasped, beaming.

"Thank you.", she said, her dimples appearing. He came in and sat down on the bed beside her, picking up the comb on her nightstand and gently running it through her hair, then moved his hands down to her shoulder, smoothly massaging her shoulder muscles. She gasped, her whole body relaxing under his touch. He leaned down and kissed her shoulders, then her neck, then her collarbone.

"It's going to be okay.", he said quietly. She nodded.

"Sometimes... Sometimes I wonder what happened to her... The baby, I mean. Sometimes I wonder what would've happened if I had kept her, if I could hold her in my arms and sing to her... Waddle waddle...", she confessed, her eyes watering. He wrapped his arms around her tight.

"If you had, you would come to resent it.", he cautioned. She nodded.

"You're probably right... I just wish I would've given her the chance, sometimes..." He reached for the bottle of pills on her nightstand, pulling out the two that made up her dosage and handing them to her. She swallowed them down with her juice. "Hey..."

"Yeah?", he asked.

"Thank you... You know, for always being there for me. For being my Hazzy." She gave him a watery smile, then stood, heading for the shower.


	6. Chapter 6

Colorful Kangaroo Farm

Chapter 6

That Saturday, on the 8th, the air seemed to be charged with an electricity nothing else could counter. Time zones meant little, since it was the beginning of the something beyond their comprehension, the thing that could make or break their friendships. This morning was the beginning of something they're all remember forever...

* * *

"Jovanni!", Harasen called from upstairs. He looked up, crunching on his last Cheeto.

"Yeah?", he asked, taking the steps up to the door of their room. Hara looked up at him, eyes wet with unshed tears. She held up a little pink hat that had the word 'Salsa' on it in white script, her hands shaking. In less than a minute, his arms, strong, tan, and soft, were wrapped around her, and he had her up against his chest. She turned and wrapped her arms around his waist. Kissing her forehead, he whispered in her ear.

"You would have made a wonderful mother Hara. Trust me." She snuggled into his arms.

"Promise?", she asked, her voice wavering slightly. He nodded, tipping her chin up gently kissing her with all the passion of a lover, the warmth and companionship of a best friend, and the sweetness of a gentleman. She smiled into the kiss, and they stood in each other's embrace for what seemed an endless time. Then he pushed her away gently.

"Are you ready?", he asked. She nodded, holding up her luggage. He took it from her, grabbing her hand and leading her downstairs. She followed him out into the 5:30 am darkness. He led her to their car and opened the door. She slid in, with an almost nervous sigh, then looked down at her white manicured nails. Jovi closed the door, then got in on his side, immediately reaching for his hand.

_"Trust me..." _The words seemed to linger in her mind. She supposed, though, after all he'd stuck with her through, this was the least of what she could do. She twined her fingers with his, and closed her eyes, leaning back against the seat. In a moment, her breathing evened out and deepened, and her hand lay flat on her belly. Jovanni picked her hand up, kissed her palm, and set her hand back down again, a single tear of his own welling up.

"It's not over...", he sang quietly, squeezing her other hand. He began the drive to the airport.

* * *

Fayee hugged her youngest daughter close to her, crying.

"Don't forget to brush your teeth baby, okay? And don't let John and Nepeta pick on you!" Here she let out a choked sob, covering the young girl in kisses. The girl whimpered, wrapping her arms around her mother's throat and kissing her back. Sirus smiled, picking up the young girl.

"Tell mommy not to worry, kay? Tell her, pumpkin." The oldest, a tall, lanky teenager with Sirus's color hair and Fayee's eyes nodded, scooping the girl up.

"Don't worry, mom, I got her."

"Oh Ter, thanks so much for baby-sitting!", Fayee squealed, hugging him close, squishing the younger girl with her boobs for a minute. John and Nepeta elbowed each other devilishly, then ran up and poked the baby.

"Ro, Ro, guess what? Mommy's going to a party without you and Terezi's baby-sitting!", they chorused.

"What? A pawty? Wifout me? But... But mommy!" Rose burst into tears, refusing to let go.

"Oh, no, baby, no, not a party...", she said softly, but the girl was past consolation. Fayee shot Sirus a pleading look. Sirus took the two middle children and leaned down, muttering a few angry words in their ears. They both paled and went still, not even fidgeting. Sirus shot Fayee a smirk and she smiled, kissing Rose and removing herself from the five year old's arms, handing her to Terezi.

"I got her mom.", he said, hugging the girl to his chest. Rose curled up her fists and rubbed her eyes.

"Don't forget baby, I love you." Fayee refrained from another kiss lest she be latched onto again, instead kneeling down and hugging John and Nepeta. "You two be good for Terezi or I won't buy you any ice cream for a year. And do NOT pick on the baby." They nodded, crossing their fingers behind their backs. She kissed them both and then stood up, her tears starting again. Sirus gently but firmly grabbed her waist and led her to the car. Rose bursts into noisy tears and Fayee starts to pull away and run to her baby. Sirus keeps a firm grip on her and helps her into the car. He hurries around to the other side, getting in and starting the car before she can open the door.

"Fayee, it'll be alright.", he said gently. "Terezi's got her and before you know it, she'll be Skyping us and smiling and laughing." This seemed to calm her and she snuggled back into her seat, humming along to the radio.

* * *

Ashlyn snapped a card into place with her mouse, giggling at something only she could hear through her headphones.

"Onee-chan, kawaii desu?", she said in a high, questioning tone. There was another pause, and she laughed again. "You motherfucker." There's a knock on her door and she looks up. "Huh? Hold on Patrick." Slipping her headphones off she called something in French and Markku walked in, clearly having just woken up.

"Bunny, has anyone messaged you about estimated times?"

"Uh, yeah. More or less, people will start arriving at six, why?"

"...No reason.", he said. She was confused, but shook her head, deciding to ignore it.

"Anything else? 'Cause I'm kinda on the phone and playing a game of Cards Against Humanity." He shook his head and left. She pulled her laptop back onto her lap. "Hey, I'm back." She finished the game, winning as usual when she played against Patrick. Then she stood, saying goodbye and deciding to get ready. Her phone buzzed and she paused from getting one of her own thick, fluffy towels out of her back to answer it.

**Ashlyn. The investigations into the New York mafia case are taking too long. We have a case full of signature cards, and no leads. At all. Get your shit together. Alice**

She frowned, tossing her phone onto the bed.

"Fuck that shit.", she spat, gathering a change of clothes and going into the bathroom to take a shower. Upstairs, she similarly heard water running.

* * *

Iina and Jess held hands while they sat on the train down to Helsinki.

"Nervous much?", Jess asked wryly, squeezing Iina's slightly sweating palm.

"Um... Not much... Only a lot...", she mumbled quietly in reply. Jess chuckled, lifting her hand and brushing a whisper of a kiss over her knuckles.

"Well don't be. I've seen how much they all love you. And besides, your uncle's a lion, he'll protect you." This earned a giggle from her and she cuddled up to her fiancé on the seat. Suddenly, one of her songs started playing on the train radio and she blushed, burying her face into Jess's chest.

"What if they don't like me in real life?", she whispered.

"Of course they will. What's not to like?", Jess replied, stroking her hair. Iina smiled, falling asleep for the remainder of the trip.

* * *

It was quiet. Lexie smiled. It was nice to get away from constantly being needed for something. Of course, she'd have to make sure those bitches knew how much of a pain it was to have to fly all the way out to Finland, but she did know it was worth it. She examined her phone. Despite it being the newest, most overpriced piece of technology, it couldn't fill the void in her heart... Haha, fuck that, what do you think this is, your mom's next girly rich-woman-comes-to-her-senses movie? She fucking loved her phone. She slid it into her purse, turning on her iPod and listening to some old Glee, reminding her of older calls. This of course, stirred up a desire to hear Hazzy sing.

"He better sing to me...", she mumbled, tapping her nails against her armrest. Across the aisle, a dark-skinned man held his wife's pale hand. Lexie studied the man. He was oddly familiar.

"Calvy!", his wife whispered, catching sight of Lexie and poking him in his side. He glanced at her.

"Yeah?", he asked.

"The woman across the aisle is staring.", Salsa hissed, flicking her shaggy blonde locks out of her face. He looked over.

"Holy fuck! Blackie!", Lexie grinned. He looked confused, then his eyes lit up in recognition.

"Alexus.", he said evenly, an amused smirk playing about his lips.

"No way."

"Calvin... Who's this?", Salsa asked, looking Lexie over.

"Somebody that I used to know from the internet."

"Oh please, Blackie, you know I meant more than that to you bitch."

"Totally. You're the other annoying sister.", he retorted, laughing.

"Hey have you told your friend over there about Rule number one?"

"What the fuck is that, some kind of weird BDSM thing?", Salsa said indignantly. Lexie and Calvin exchanged looks of disgust, then burst into laughter. "It's not funny. Calvin!"

"Haha, of course not love.", he said, squeezing her hand and trying to catch his breath. "It's an inside joke."

"You seem to have a lot of those that I don't know about.", she pouted.

"Lexie is an old acquaintance. She's in that group I was telling you about but you refused to join, remember?"

"...Whatever."

"So, who's that?", Lexie asked, gesturing to the slight woman.

"This is my wife, Salsa."

"Salsa?", she inquired, stifling a laugh.

"Yes. _Salsa_.", the aforementioned replied tersely. There's a moment of silence.

"A gay baby was just born.", Calvin said, wrapping an arm around his wife. She snuggled into his chest, giving Lexie a victorious glance, implying that Lexie gave a fuck, which she didn't.

"Is that what your mom said when you were born?", Lexie asked.

"Oh that's not cool.", he said, shaking his head.

"Neither is Get Lucky.", Lexie snickered.

"How could you not like Get Lucky?", he questioned, stunned. She shrugged.

"How could you not like _getting _lucky?" This piece of banter was too much for Salsa, and she stood up, excusing herself, before heading for the back of the plane. Calvin looked after her, worried, and stood up to follow. _I already don't like her,_ Lexie waited for them to come back, and when they did, she immediately starting showing him EM screenshots on her iPod. The two, three if you counted Salsa's sarcastic comments, chatted for the rest of the trip.

* * *

"Finny! Where the fuck are your bathroom outlets?!", Ashlyn yelled.

"What?", he called back, and she ran right into his office, hair wet and in a pair of fluffy pink pajamas. Her eyes blazed furiously.

"The things you plug your goddamn lights into!", she spat.

"Oooooh! I don't have those in the bathrooms. It's hard enough with eczema without having electricity running in the bathrooms."

"But... But... BUT THAT DOESN'T EVEN LIFT!", she exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air, muttering a stream of obscenities. It sounded legit to him, like, the science journals said so... Or maybe that was his shower sex advice column... Shrugging, he turned back to reviewing the script of the next movie he was going to star in, something to do with weird high-tech mafia. She rolled her eyes and stormed out, muttering something about where exactly she'd shove his motherfucking outlets.

* * *

Drauken set up one of his clones in the chair, giving a satisfied nod as it immediately set about to the newest laws.

"You've done your job well.", he said approvingly. The scientist let out a breath of relief, shoulders slumping. "But don't screw it up now. This isn't all that important to me, but for the good of a nation, things must be sacrificed. Remember that." The scientist's assistant nodded, eyes bright and full of ideals. Drauken gently pushed past them and out onto the grounds, where his plane was waiting. Walking through the throngs of flashing cameras and microphones shoved in his face, he maintained a stoic expression, his face unreadable. He hurried into his plush seat and remained in a calm, even mood for the duration of his flight.

* * *

Pucca sat at the edge of her seat, her body trembling in anticipation. The clock ticked down as the few final minutes of the school day trickled slowly by. She noticed Brian leering at her from the back of her class and grimaced, then glanced over at Justin. He perked up and pointed at the clock. The kids started counting down, quiet at first, progressively getting louder.

"Ten... nine... eight... _seven_... _six_... _five_... **four**_... _**three**_... __**two... ONE**_!"

"I'M OUT OF HERE SNOT-SUCKERS!", Pucca yelled, leaping out of her seat. She was out the door and in her car before the first wave of kids had congregated outside the heavy, metal double doors. She hurriedly drove away from the school, turning her speakers up high and blaring the RENT soundtrack. When she got home she hurriedly showered and changed into some casual clothes since she was gonna change in Ashlyn's room once she'd arrived in Finland. She drove herself to the airport, singing at the top of her lungs, knowing that her miaorail was probably gonna be a sourpuss like he was on the Skype calls all the time.

* * *

Kristi and Graeme walked out of their expensive home, chatting about words and the places that their roots came from.

_You could be my unintended..._ Kristi checked her phone, wondering why Graeme's ringtone was playing when he was clearly right beside her.

**You're not listening to me :p**

"Yes I was.", she said, looking up at him. He smiled at her innocently. She laughed, poking his side.

"**BOOM**.", he said loudly, falling into the grass. She giggled, grabbing his hand and pulling him up. He held out his arm gallantly, and she took it, the former escorting her to their Ferrari, which was due to be shipped over to Finland after them.

* * *

Ashlyn and Markku sat in Markku's office, each on one side of the desk.

"I'm so excited!", Ashlyn squealed, listening as someone else replied. Markku chuckled, scrolling through his email. Then he froze, his already pale skin going even whiter. Forcing himself to relax, he regained his color. Ashlyn giggled, continuing her call. She was dressed in a black skirt and stockings with a spiked leg band that attached to her skirt and a black and purple off the shoulder top, paired with black flats and a black beret. Markku was dressed in a black suit and a blue and white tie designed with the Finnish flag pattern.

"People are gonna be here soon, though, so I'm gonna go. Baiiiii! Kawaii desu!", Ashlyn beamed. She typed something hastily, then she clicked end, looking up.

"Finnyyyyyyyy!", she said. He shot her a wary look.

"Bunneeeeeeh?"

"I'm bored. Play a game with me. One v one BGO match.", she said. He shook his head. She pouted, and Kifu leaped up beside her. She beamed, petting the cat, who purred loudly and licked her hand. Suddenly there was a loud chime that indicated a doorbell. The duo exchanged a look, then stood, hearts hammering as something they'd been waiting for for years loomed above them.


End file.
